Utter Shit

So, I am writing.  Just not here.  This stuff is just too self indulgent to post at this time.  I am too emotional.  And it will make a better story when it all blows up in my face.

But what I do love is writing a paragraph that gives you your solution.  I did not know what I needed to do.  Until I wrote this one small group of senences and it all became clear.

This is why I have been so insane lately.  It is the lack of time to write it all down and see it in black and white.  I realize this is how I think.  If I just stare at the wall I just get stuck in a loop.  For me, putting it on paper makes me put in a narrative, minus my own emotional connection to the information.

And then I can see it.

I cannot say I like the solution or that I am happy about what has to happen, but I am at least relieved that I now have a plan.  It was the big question mark of it all that had me so twisted.