Filed under: dating
AND!! AND!!!
AND!!!
I look at his profile…the doctahh….just for fun…and punishment…and I see he pressed that little ‘I like this’ on one of the photos I posted of my haircut.
SOB! Stop fucking with me!!! You cannot just DO THAT to a girl!!!
Filed under: dating
everything? Because I have emails I should be returning but I HAVE to tell you about the last few days. I should be getting into bed, but I am here, writing, to make sure I alert you to DRAMA!!!
For the last 2 months or so, my life has been pretty much boy free. Nothing interesting out there.
Then on Saturday I am out for a walk with D. We walk for 1.5-3 hours and burn like 200-400 calories then eat about 4000. It is a nutritional day really!
So she was at a party the night before with a whole bunch of people I know through someone else. I am not part of the group but occasionally I am at one of their get togethers. Anyway…my name comes up, as does one guy I was (drunkenly) interested in at a party last summer. It was said he was interested, but I did not reciprocate. Well, I was drunk as all get out, so what sort of coherent flirting would you have wanted? The best part was D’d boyfriend responding to some comment with ‘Maybe he should try again’, meaning maybe I DID have interest and maybe I am pathetic enough to still be interested (totally am since there is NOTHING else going on).
Then…yesterday, a guy from the south bay, one who I have not gone out with since we had planned a date and then he sent me a message VIA FACEBOOK to cancel since he had TWO parties he had forgotten about. Here is the email:
Ok, I think its been sufficient time since I canceled on you (I really did have a memorial to go to!!!), so I figured I’ll shoot you a message. I’d still like to go out some time. Would you?
My natural response is ‘I was not aware there was an amount of time one should wait after FLAKING.’
Needless to say I have not responded. But now I am because….
HOLY FUCK THE DOCTAHH SENT ME A NOTE TOO!!
WHAT THE FUCK???!!!!????
Hey when are you going to sneak to Monterey? My mom is in town until Sunday but if you are coming through town Sunday night, let’s find time to get together…
I do not even know what to say….I mean….the hell?
Filed under: Being Mere
I am a little more than a quarter of the way into my 35th year and the things I have learned about myself sort of astound me.
Not that they are deep….just that it has taken THIS long to understand – I have sensitive skin.
Had you asked me a few years ago I would have said I have combination skin. That would have been incorrect. I have DRY skin. Very dry. THIS is all I ever needed to know about my skin.
In the past year I have had a recurrence of acne, a second bout of eczema (not bad, and again….I thought it was something else!), I have ruined my skin with benzoyl peroxide, continued to over dry my skin with sulphur and finally ended up in desperation in a doctors office 45 minutes away in hopes someone would believe my concerns.
Not only did he give me some other things to try….he gave me permission to call or email for a change if things are not working the way I want. AND! AND! He told me that Cetaphil is the best moisturizer – a product you can buy at Walgreenss for $10. For 16 oz. I have paid $98 for 1 oz!!!! I have never, ever put the same lotion on my face that I put on my body. And here I am, lathering up with the same bottle all over!
I also have a severe metal allergy. I got my ears pierced at 12 and I have always said they did not heal right. So that is 23 years of believing eventually they would get their act together. Um….yeah…they didn’t. I find it interesting that I see my allergist every year (since I was FIVE) and he never ever asked if I had a problem with metals. He was all up in my grill for having pets and not having a $100 mattress cover to keep me away from dust mites, but never a simple question about how I am effected my metals.
A few hours of gold, silver or platinum led to a week of red, scaly, hot, infected ears.
And for the first time I am SO grateful I never pierced any sensitive body parts (truth is I never even thought about it) because can you imagine that in your belly button or nipple or….??? Eeek!!
Anyway…I am looking for answers. Niobium and titanium seem to be the best options for a metal allergy. I bought niobium hoops and am waiting for my ears to settle around them.
UPDATE: The niobium hoops took about 3 weeks before my ears healed and relaxed. The left one took longer, acting like a wound for awhile, but it finally came around. I took them out for the first time today, before a haircut, and it is the FIRST time I have removed an earring and the hole was not red and angry. Progress!
After a snafu, the meds from the new dermatologist arrived today. I could not wait to come home and put the new concoction on my face. The pills have not arrived and I have no idea how far Caremarks head is up its ass, but they are not quick with new prescriptions.
That is all.
Filed under: Being Mere
Today is frigging gorgeous! It was 85 before noon!
I had to run out to show a house today, and did some computer work while lounging, but mostly I relaxed today and it feels so damn good. I am feeling like I am almost caught up on the work stuff….things are moving along.
Yesterday I was in SF all day long at the Cherry Blossom festival and watching Fast and Furious and eating and eating and eating. It rocked. It was so nice to just hang and not have the phone ringing.
Hell…I even like my hair today. It has gotten long all of the sudden, passing my shoulders. And I do not like this length most of the time…too long for a style, too short for an awesome pony. But today, I might have figured it out by air drying my hair for a long time, then flipping over and running the hairdryer over it, then adding mousse, then walking around for an hour then a pony. It gave it enough texture to be interesting in the ponytail (since all of the hair is pulled back it tends to look a little Simply Irresistible video at times).
Or maybe it was the gobs of eye makeup I had on…or the new lipstick (not quite the right color but apparently my mother is right and I DO look better with color on my lips) (I hate when she is right). Or the ZOMBIE bag that arrived. I don’t know…but it was a good day.
Filed under: Being Mere
So all it really takes to adjust my attitude is a crappy night of sleep, 7 am grocery shopping and a day living like a normal person.
A friend and I went for a walk today….that lasted more than 3 hours and included pizza!
I started the day purging closets and doing a general straighten up. Which means when I left the house the hall was filled with items for donation and things to take to the office and a bag of garbage. The bed was bare, there was laundry on the ottoman ready to be folded and the upstairs was in disrepair.
Or so it seems. Really, this is the first step of any good clean or purge in this house. I make things even messier and then it sorts itself out.
Only now…after hours of sun I am not in the mood to put anything back.
I think I will relax and nap and see what I can tackle in the morning.
It is hard to explain what I have been doing. I can very well explain what I have not been doing – dating, reading my blogroll, having fun, cleaning, making money.
Ok…here is what is up in no particular order -
1) I finished painting the nightstands only to be told that I put the handles on upside down. They have not yet been righted.
2) I bought a door for $35 at the Alameda Antiques By the Bay to make into a headboard – it rests in my garage – untouched.
3) I went with Cathy to see Dooce read from her new book. It was fun to do something so different than the usual (which these days is mostly work and maybe crying from fatigue) and to meet a new person and have a girl date. Fun!
4) I went to a conference. I learned that we seem to have hit bottom in CA. And that I should expect 18 more months of this market. What should have excited me actually crushed me. I think looking ahead 18 months….I am not sure I can keep up the pace. I am exhausted. I am neglecting things I do not want to neglect.
5) I am having angst over work. I mean ALL I do is work. And when I am alone, heading back to the office at 7 pm at night for the third night in a row I start to wonder if I really want to sacrifice EVERYTHING for this stupid motherfucking job? I mean I have no time to fold laundry (we have heard that one before, right?), watch TV, relax (I actually feel guilty when at 9 I HAVE to stop working). And that little anti-establishment (really little) part of me starts to tell me to throw it all away and go live in a commune – I mean shit, it ain’t like I have time to shave my legs anyway, why not make it work for me?
6) And that little blurb above is why I am not here. I have not been here in so long it took me 4 tries to figure out my password (new computer so it was not saved). I have nothing to report. I am half angry and half sad most of the time. I have to save whatever “nice” I have for the clients (and I am not so good at that some days). The biggest part is that the huge bills keep rolling in and the deals are in the pipeline but you have to work SO HARD to get just one closed and the checks are so small that you have to close so many and it is all so overwhelming to think of the sheer amount of hours I need to work for the next 18 months just to survive and the impossible hours it would take to prosper and maybe pay the freaking IRS their $13K they want from last year.
7) All I feel these days is frustration – that I am always behind on what I have to do, that I never have enough time to do anything I want to do, that the mom is incapable of helping since she refuses to learn new things and I am too swamped to be able to teach her anyway, so I just do it myself so I might be able to finally go home and be quiet. I am frustrated that on TUESDAY I made a shopping list and I have not had time to run to Safeway for cereal.
I am cancelling my business coach, netflix, bootcamp, and allowing myself half what I usually spend at the grocery store (so maybe it is good I do not have time to go?). I have 5 pending deals and not one is over $3400 in commission – fuck – one is for $500. I swear! And I am not sure when they will close since every last one of them is a short sale. I have 7 deals that will most likely turn into checks in the next 90 days. Then I have another 10 maybe deals or deals that will happen later this year. There are agents who would kill for that pipeline – 22 deals – half of what I need to close this year to make a little bit more than I did last year. Only 4 closed so far…2 more due to close…42 more to close to make some real cash. Just thinking about it makes me tired.
9) I may have found a doctor that believes that my skin is not perfect. Now I have to wait for my stupid mail order pharmacy to send me the stuff but I am hoping this is it. He is on the peninsula, so quite a drive, but worth it if he listens.
10) Um…I had ice cream for dinner. With chocolate sauce and I smooshed it all up in the bowl to make a sort of milkshake. That is happy right?
Now…aren’t you sorry you asked where I have been? I will attempt happier posts. I will try to recognize those ironic little things that only tend to happen in my life (like my dearest friend trying to set me up with an ADULT who still plays dungeons and dragons)
