Utter Shit

Random:

-The hormones were all in an uproar until a few hours ago.  I was having lots of impure thoughts. Impure thoughts about the cop and other random boys.  That sort of thing can get a girl in trouble.

-I spontaneously lost 2 pounds overnight.  Not the usual 2 pounds you lose from going to bed to waking (someone told me it is all the moisture you lose through your mouth) but 2 pounds from yesterday morning to this morning.  Weird.  But we will take it.

-I have now seen all of my internal organs below my belly button.  2 weeks ago it was the intestines, and today I saw my bladder, ovaries and um….whatever the other thing is down there (Seriously cannot think of the word.  Damn I am losing it).  She thinks she found my appendix, but it was covered in guts so hard to say.  I know she cannot diagnose but I asked if she saw anything “squirrely”.  Nope.  All looks good.

-This means I just wasted about $2000 to find out my stomach ache in in my head.  Or at least is not related to a real illness. W and I are self diagnosing on WebMD.  Immaculate conception anyone?

-During the ultrasound today I had this overwhelming urge to be pregnant.  I mean, there is no other reason to be in there looking at your insides.  For the first time in my entire life I wanted to have  a baby.  In the past, I have wanted children but never to be pregnant, not babies.  The thought took me by surprise.

-The ultrasound made me very sad for the rest of the day.  I think it drove home the things I really do want in life and they are quickly passing me by.  I came home to mope.  Moping is not good for the soul and I do not like myself when I am down.  I plan on returning to my normally scheduled optimistic cynacism tomorrow.

-I put on my pjs when I got home and sat on the couch.  The couch made a funny noise.  I got up, looked at where I had sat and noticed I had sat on the center crack of the two fixed cushions.  I figured the leather had stuck together or something.  Sat again – same noise.  I was walking around the house a little later and brushed my had across my rear end – HOLE!!  It wasn’t the couch.  I blew out the ass of my pjs!!