Filed under: Being Mere
In response to a hiking invitation:
And I do not do it at noon when hot – I am pale and my people are meant to be under ground at high noon!
Filed under: dating
Sometimes you meet someone and you maybe do not know them for long…but they leave a little mark. The memories are not really there anymore (god, how we drank) but the way you felt has certainly not been forgotten.
I do not know why he popped into my head tonight – is it because I am heading into SF tomorrow where he lives? is it because I am heading to a museum? is it the art? is it just boredom and my brain is reeling back to times when it was intrigued?
I found his email address…not hard to do. He has a website where he sells his paintings (he told me there was one he was working on that had me in it, in the bar that we would hang out in – no idea if it was true, but I loved hearing it).
Oh….shit…I still have his old emails….ugh. The. Chemistry. Was. Palpable.
That is why he is still snuggled into my brain….
Filed under: Cats
The vet was here yesterday. We get house calls since the younger one is a hellion at the vet – hissing, spitting, biting, freaking the fuck out.
So they had their immunizations yesterday and the older on is not reacting well. The vet did say they may be lethargic that night. Well, it is the next day and he squeaks in pain when I pick him up. And his nose is running, and he just looks so sad.
I feel SO BAD!
I made him a bed in the closet in the dark with a towel and a bathrobe he loves. And I put his water right by the “bed”. My poor baby!
Yesterday, the cats were locked in a bedroom with food, water, pottybox and a couch full of sun. Should be heaven for a cat, right? The cleaning ladies were coming, so I lock them up.
Only the cleaning ladies were late, and when I thought I would be letting them out, I was instead throwing more food at them and closing the door again.
I got home at 9 last night. The cats had been in the room (fed, watered, etc) for 13 hours. They were not happy.
I went to bed in a clean home. The damn cat comes in and knocks an entire glass of water on the floor. I figure it was an oops and grudgingly clean it up and throw the cat out of the room.
A while later, the cat is howling outside and I am over it, so I let him back in. He proceeds to go into the bathroom and knock the same motherfucking glass on the floor. So -
1) He DID IT ON PURPOSE. That little jerk
2) He is SO LUCKY it landed on a towel on the floor, because if he had broken it I would have skinned him and made a stole.
***
I have matured. I no longer stalk online. I feel so grown up. But I really think I am just too damn busy to deal anymore!
***
While I love my job, this year is depressing. There are no happy listings these days. I am getting a short sale listing and a probate listing (someone died without a will – GET A WILL!!!) and have another short sale listing….I know I am helping but it is so hard to see so many people in this place. It is hard to be cheerful about what I do (7 freaking days a week).
Filed under: dating
Not too long, right?
I think I am in a funk. Nothing is very inspiring to me right now.
And I totally blame the doctahh – he made me break my rules.
He made me….want….when I have spent years not wanting anyone or anything that had to be given by another. He made me dream….as in pipe dreams. He made me hope when there is none.
See? See how fucking cheerful I am?
I just think I am finally realizing how futile it is. I have been single too long. The single men that are left are all so…retarded.
What some of you may not know is after the broken date I sent an email. I was nice, but not exactly forgiving.
A week (!! seriously?) later he emails back with some hoo-ha about Vegas and blah blah blah…”what are your plans this weekend?”
Like I am going to fall for that shit again?
I respond with some blah blah blah and I have no idea what my plans are and why not call me when you get home.
The next day I get a text, which I reply to the next day.
And then nothing.
Which I totally expected. He let the momentum die. And when the momentum dies there is no excitement in going out with someone. The delay brings up the insecurities and it triggers the game and it just makes things so much harder.
So. I am attempting to get over it. I am trying to remain busy but have no real desire to do anything. So I am organizing the house and painting furniture and that sort of thing.
I intend to start hiking to keep myself busy. At least that is free.
I hope something interesting happens that I can share. I will do my best to adjust this attitude and return as my normal whining self!
Filed under: Work
Some days you just want to bash your head into the wall over the stupidity of the general public.
I am helping a client show his condo that is for rent. I am not going to get paid for this, but I know the current tenant and I like the owner, and it was one measly half hour of my life.
There are 2 people interested. The one gal is easy. The other gal/guy (no idea) sends the client an email that they want to see it Saturday. I decide we can do both Saturday, since the other gal is pretty flexible. I email both saying Saturday it is, I will let them know a time after I speak with the tenant.
I make an appointment with the tenant. I send an email to the two interested parties. And the FUCKTARD one who WANTED to see it Saturday says “Can we do 10:30 instead? I have to go to the airport”.
Um. No. You could have told me that in the previous email exchange asshat.
Filed under: Illness
Random:
-The hormones were all in an uproar until a few hours ago. I was having lots of impure thoughts. Impure thoughts about the cop and other random boys. That sort of thing can get a girl in trouble.
-I spontaneously lost 2 pounds overnight. Not the usual 2 pounds you lose from going to bed to waking (someone told me it is all the moisture you lose through your mouth) but 2 pounds from yesterday morning to this morning. Weird. But we will take it.
-I have now seen all of my internal organs below my belly button. 2 weeks ago it was the intestines, and today I saw my bladder, ovaries and um….whatever the other thing is down there (Seriously cannot think of the word. Damn I am losing it). She thinks she found my appendix, but it was covered in guts so hard to say. I know she cannot diagnose but I asked if she saw anything “squirrely”. Nope. All looks good.
-This means I just wasted about $2000 to find out my stomach ache in in my head. Or at least is not related to a real illness. W and I are self diagnosing on WebMD. Immaculate conception anyone?
-During the ultrasound today I had this overwhelming urge to be pregnant. I mean, there is no other reason to be in there looking at your insides. For the first time in my entire life I wanted to have a baby. In the past, I have wanted children but never to be pregnant, not babies. The thought took me by surprise.
-The ultrasound made me very sad for the rest of the day. I think it drove home the things I really do want in life and they are quickly passing me by. I came home to mope. Moping is not good for the soul and I do not like myself when I am down. I plan on returning to my normally scheduled optimistic cynacism tomorrow.
-I put on my pjs when I got home and sat on the couch. The couch made a funny noise. I got up, looked at where I had sat and noticed I had sat on the center crack of the two fixed cushions. I figured the leather had stuck together or something. Sat again – same noise. I was walking around the house a little later and brushed my had across my rear end – HOLE!! It wasn’t the couch. I blew out the ass of my pjs!!
Part of the whole medical is a discomfort in my lower abdominal area. I am not sure if it is stress, hunger, something real, something in my head.
So, today is an ultrasound. What the fuck am I doing? I am broke. I am beyond broke. Yet…$1400 for a colonoscopy and I do not even want to know what today is going to cost – I assume another $500 at least. Fuck me.
Is the discomfort worth $500? I do not think so. I think for $500 I can live with it. Fuckfuckfuckityfuckfuckfuck.
I need more clients. I need to get shit done, get some money in the bank, and stop stressing. But taxes are due soon (I am estimating I will owe $10-12K), property taxes are due soon ($3200), $2000 in medical bullshit (might as well test for everything else this year since I am $500 from fulfilling my deductible), oh…and bills…I need $15K ON TOP of my monthly expenses (which are so horrendous I do not even want to share them with you).
God. I need to get to work.
I am wiped. I am beyond wiped. Yesterday, I was so tired I fumbled through work. Today, I was ok until about 3 and then all I could think about was a nap.
I ordered Vicky Christina Bacelona instead, crawled into bed and just relaxed. Divine!
I was up at 6:15 to go to the Alameda antiques fair in the rain….only almost no one was there. Maybe 25 booths, TONS of parking and no one taking the entry fee. I played in the rain, enjoying myself and then went home.
I met a client later, then had a lunch date with a new eh$rm*ny guy. A cop. In SF. So dull….so negative. But very complementary. (and he does not drink, which we still need to explore) (because I will not give up bacon for a vegan nor liquor for a teetotaller)
But the funny thing? TOTALLY want to make out with him. I will see him again for that sole purpose (should he ask). I find it funny that this girl (this one) who always says she does not want a pretty boy wants to make out with the first one she has to sit across from for an hour and a half. It does not hurt that he lives very close (as in blocks not even miles) and it would be easy. Maybe the biological clocks are kicking in? Maybe I am just hormonal?
That pretty much sums it up. I have been run ragged with work and personal stuff and now I just want to recoup. And maybe make out with a cop.
