Utter Shit

I have always thought myself lucky to have a birthday at the end of the year.  It makes recaps so much easier.  It makes it all so final.  So over.

Today, I turn 35.  A number I have dreaded, yet now that it is here, maybe it isn’t so bad.

This year:

I lost a grandfather.  A quiet man who meant a lot to me.

I learned just how awful cancer is…not first hand, but close enough to see the scars, to know the emotional roller coaster, to see the hard decisions, to grieve the loss of body parts in order to survive.

Saw an African American man voted in as President.

Learned that my friends are far from perfect, and I love them anyway.

Had a friend move out of the country.

Went to Italy.

Realized what my job REALLY entails.

Thrived in a market where many are failing.  I did 10 more deals this year than in any other year.  I did not make more money than years past.  But I did have more fun this year than in any other of this career.

Lost about 13 pounds.

I learned to cry with my friends.  Over the good and the bad.  And I am pretty sure I cried all damn year.  Fricking drama queen.

Learned to embrace me, warts and all.

Watched our financial system crumble.

Did not go on enough dates.

Attempted to be more open minded.  Probably did not succeed.

Fell in love with my new housekeepers.

Saw California vote against gay marriage – and cried (instead of raged?  that is weird) when I found out someone close to me voted yes.

Speaking of gay marriage – went to my first same sex wedding reception!  It was awesome.

Tried online dating without all my usual derision.  Even met someone I liked – who may have even been good for me – and he quickly dumped me one month later.

Joined a bowling league.  The team was then kicked out of the league.

Have maintained drinking buddy status with some very interesting guys we met through bowling – they continue to be fun.

Speaking of drinking…had some FUN nights with way too much liquor.  And loved it!

Had too few days off, too little time to reflect.

Today I will be ushering in 35 with good friends, old and new.  Even with all the crap that happened this year, it was still one of the best years I have experienced.  I feel like I am living as I am supposed to.  I have settled in to Being Mere.

And for next year?

More money.

More weight loss

Meeting more people.