Utter Shit

(This is going to sound snotty and conceited.  And I do not care.  But it is not written from that frame of mind.)

I do not have any gossip about the wedding reception, so let’s move on to the bday party.

I called my friend for the party wrap up conversation.  Why was that couple in a fight, did anyone say anything juicy, who got drunk (bday girl), etc.

At the end of the conversation she says something about me and one of her friends.  This is a gal I have not met before.  I have heard some stories, but nothing interesting enough to stick.  In my mind, she is just another friend of a friend.

Well, I guess people have mentioned me and she was wondering why we had never met.  I guess she was excited to meet me.  Everything about that sentence is weird.

So when I walked in after an hour drive to a party in full swing, this whirling blond is sort of in my face.  I pretty much brush everyone away and run off to pee.  Upon returning to the main room, she is back in my face.  I say hi…again, nothing to report.  No real impression, just a hi.

As the night goes on, she gets louder.  And she keeps saying “I am the youngest of five, I have to be loud”.  And I keep thinking, but we are grown now, why are you still competing?

At one point the loud girl sits with the bday girl to open presents and she had a nasty remark about each gift and each gift giver…I think they were supposed to be funny, but nasty remarks just to hear your own voice is annoying and certainly not funny.

A while later she is back in my face.  “So excited to finally meet you, heard so much about you…”  blah, blah, blah.

Then she says, “From what I have heard we are very alike.  We both like to control a room”.

I think I smiled tightly and moved on to the next conversation.  It isn’t that I didn’t like her….except that it is that I did not like her.  I do not like being told who or what I am by a stranger.  And I especially hate being told I am just like this person based on stories they have heard about me. If you think we are alike, watch and see if we are.  Because we are not similar.

Specifically, I hated that “we both control a room” comment.  I mean, I know I can control a room.  I am funny enough, and when in the right mood can be downright hilarious in the right situations.  But I do not “control” a room by demanding attention and talking over everyone else.  A bigger statement can be made with a whisper.  And anyone who knows me knows I love to whisper.  And as far as controlling a room – which is a stupid statement, let’s call it what it is, being the center of attention – I do not like to….I can enjoy it on occasion if the time is right.  And I certainly so not NEED to.  I did not take over a room that entire night.

Well, I guess I left about 1 am or so.  And the moment I left the loud girl says “She didn’t like me”.  The bday girl poo-poohed that thought.  “Well, it isn’t as if I care” the loud girl follows up with. Except that she totally DOES care.  And I wonder why…I have not run  into her in the years I have been friends with this group, and may never run into her again, so who cares if I like her or not, right?

I think she heard some funny stories about me from some people at the party.  A few of the people there are as big of fans of me as I am of them.  And I think the stories were probably well told, and made me sound brasher than I am and louder than I am, and probably were taken out of context with no information on the actual audience size.  And she thinks people talk about her the same way they talk about me.  So naturally, if they talk about us the same, we will be the same and then be best friends the moment we meet, right?

The truth is, I like small audiences.  I do not need the whole party to hear me, just the person closest to me.  I do these things because they amuse me.  Not for attention from others.  Attention is just a by-product of being witty enough to entertain the person next to you, so that someone else wants to hear it, too.

Anyway.  I am sorry she was so disappointed we were not immediate BFF’s.  Maybe next time she will check her expectations and try to get to know me instead of the stories about me.  Maybe next time her insecurity will not be so blinding and she can speak in a normal indoor voice instead of bullying everyone with her shrieks of indignation.

Or maybe it will be just like last night and I can continue to flinch when she “controls a room”.