I never finished college. It is the one thing I am deeply ashamed of. Not that I freak out if someone says something about college (I mean shit, I am 34, who talks about college anymore?) but I am always hyper aware that I do not have that degree. Especially when meeting clients that did a Masters in Microbiology and Law Degree at the same time. I just would never have that sort dedication.
But what I do have is a semi decent vocabulary. Very rarely does a word come along that I do not know, and I tend to use twenty-five sent words in conversation….if not here.
I have another client and I am starting to feel bad that he has had to ask me more than once to explain a word. I am used to being around people that are well educated, white collar, etc.
Last night this kind gentlemen called and asked my opinion on the bailout.
Uh…..
Um…..
Me?
I was flattered that he thought I would have any insight. I explained what I knew and that I have no real opinion or guess as to how it will effect the local real estate market. I told him “there is nothing but conjecture out there”.
And he asked me “What? What did you just say?” No malice, no emotion, just explain that to me.
I went over what I had said in my head, and tried to re-phrase it. “All anyone can do is make a guess right now”.
And I would have assumed I mumbled or the phone cut out or he could not hear me….but he has said the same things to me while we are standing face to face….I think I said contentious. And I feel guilty. I feel bad for not being able to get my point across more easily to him.
I have no idea where this post is going. I do not feel like I am better than him, and I hope that is not what is read here. More of just a “note to self” that I can play smarter than I am. And another note to self to be more aware of the audience when I am speaking.
Filed under: Being Mere
The following Monday.
Because it just ain’t that bad after the worst week ever. And I realize my worst week is not that bad in the scheme of things…but it was MY bad week, and I am gonna own it.
Bonuses this week:
-A day off. Maybe. I mean, don’t go getting all excited, but the possiblity is there. Maybe. One day this week.
-The new acne medication (took 2 weeks to arrive with my stupid mail order prescriptions) ROCKS. Not because it works but because IT CAUSES LOSS OF APPETITE!! Whoohoo!
-And! And! The allergy medication she prescribed (for the itchy acne, which really just sucks ass) totally knocks me on my ass and I no longer need to take sleeping pills.
-And pumpkins! Yay fall! Even if it is in the 90’s outside. Yay fall! I have a pumpkin seed fetish. Only they have to be fresh. So I stockpile pumpkins in October and November to use for as long as possible.
-A pedicure. Sigh….so good.
My mother dragged me to a benefit tea party thing. Full of tea. No booze. Old ladies. Lots of old ladies. In hats. And finger sandwiches. Seriously dry finger sandwiches. I was bored to fucking tears.
I just feel like I would rather be working or doing something *I* want to do.
Anyway, there was no getting out of it. I tried.
So? The gal next to me grew up down the street from me. I am fairly sure she was younger. But not that young. She had graduated from college a few years ago – still no job. Living with mom apparently…in her late late 20’s, possibly early 30’s.
I am not sure why, but she reeeeeeaaaally did not want to talk to me. So I started talking. And asking questions. I HAMMERED her with questions. Until she would finally answer me. I made her tell me about tea, since she seemed to be a pro. “I discovered I do not like tea, but I love milk and sugar” she said while spooning multiple tablespoons of sugar into the milky beverage. I made her tell me about her lack of a job. I just kept talking because the other option was to crawl under the table and nap.
I survived. Barely. But what a fucking waste of a Sunday.
***
Other sightings.
Friday I was working, but was going to be in the car dropping things off, picking things up, so I went without a lot of makeup and wore some craptastic cargo pants.
We had to run to BevMo. As we walked in, I saw some guy screwing with the carts, not in a BevMo uniform, but talking to one of the employees, so I never looked directly at him. I was just trying to get shit done.
We run into a friend inside and chat for awhile. My phone rings, so I go outside the store to take the call and as I am saying something to the client on the phone, the guy outside at the carts thinks I am talking to him and turns around.
Travis…..Travis!! THE and I mean THE senior guy we all had a crush on our freshman year of high school. I loved him. I joined choir to be near him. I actually was friends with him….of sorts. I I mean we were friendly in class and on that Disney trip we went on. But not the type of friendly to keep in touch. Or ever speak after 1989.
He recognizes me. I pretend I have not seen him. I get back inside and tell the mom we need to leave. Now. And I explain why.
And as we head towards the parking lot and around the corner I am mumbling that he went this way….and there he is, as SOON as I turn the corner.
Kneeling on the ground.
Washing the windows.
Getting Doogie: I was all wrapped up in my insecurities and could not say hi to a man that I know is married. And I am pretty sure he would not have judged me like I did him.
God, I am an asshole.
Filed under: Drinking
I have been lucky enough this year to meet some clients I could truly be friends with. Typically, you meet them, and they are damn nice, but you have friends, and you attempt a life, and you just cannot fit them in. But these ones? They will get squeezed in.
She made the first move. She invited me to a Giants game. I was tired, and knew I should stay home and rest, but I also know I need to branch out, and meet new people. And I really do like her.
So, I showed up where she told me to, and a group piled into some cars and off we went to San Francisco.
We went to a restaurant for lunch first. I was super conscious of what I was eating and drinking. I noticed others were pounding margaritas and I did not want it to turn into that “split the bill down the middle thing”. I am feeling like I have spent WAY too much money on garbage the last few weeks, and I really need to reign it in. $100 on lunch was not going to make me happy. Hell $60 on lunch was not going to make me happy.
Then? I saw one gal paying the whole tab. WTF? I pointed out the blond paying the bill to my new friend and she said “Yeah, K bought us all ticket, too.” I was floored. I came as my new friends date, ready to pay my way, ticket, food, and parking since I was the last addition, and here I am being treated to a night out in SF.
We went back to the parking lot to drink more beer (supplied by the blond) and then headed to the game. It was the 5th inning. Oops!
The night was perfect. 70’s, very little breeze and I was cozy as could be in a long dress and denim jacket.
The people were awesome. There were 15 of us in all. The guys were fun, a little on the young side, but fun. I met some really great girls that are starting………wait for it……….a Thursday night drinking club. Awesome.
Anyway….here is to new friends. This year just keeps getting better!
*****18 days until we leave for Italy.*****
Filed under: Uncategorized
This was hands down the worst week I have ever had in real estate. I have never stressed so much – EVER.
And 99% of it was unavoidable. And the 1% that I fucked up, I made right…by adding more stress.
I am SO GLAD it is over.
In response, I am trying to work in a cleanse for the next 3 weeks. I will not be able to be 100% dedicated, but if I can do 80% clean, I think I will feel better.
And in 3 weeks….ITALY! In an apartment! With frescoes on the ceilings! Near the Duomo! And Tuscan wine tours! HOLY SHIT! SO excited!
Filed under: Work
1:00 am – End night with a good cry over how you will totally be single forever because you have been very careful to be 34 and mostly baggage free with your own house and a decent career and no kids and no stalky ex-boyfriends but it matters not because the rest of the single population, the ones of a consenting age, are all FUCKED beyond belief.
6:00 am - Wake to alarm. Shower, cereal.
6:30 am - Call east coast to check on funding for a loan on a house that is supposed to close tomorrow. Leave message.
6:48 am – Realize gave client on another escrow wrong info. SHIT! MUST FIX!
7:00 am – Return call that the title office has told them to fund on the 29th.
7:05 am – proceed to freak out. Things start falling into place. Notes on the settlement sheet. Charges that should not be there. The title company changed my close date. Which is a contractual date. ON A LEGAL DOCUMENT. And they do not have the authority to do so.
7:08 am to 9:00 am – Screaming at title company. SCREEEEAAAAMING. Nasty messages, threats from me. Bullshit from them that I quickly remind them IS THEIR FAULT.
9:00 am – hair is dry, no makeup, sweats, head to office to get on a land line, since cell phone keeps crapping out while on hold.
9:30 am – researching door to door same day courier. $425 from bay area to LA. That seems reasonable.
10:00 am – speaking to client about me getting on a plane, sans makeup, with only a purse to deal with title issue that requires docs getting to LA by 4:00 to be in an overnight box BACK UP HERE tomorrow morning. WTF?
10:21 am – Manager of title company calls with no apology for horrible service, but with solution to close home on time.
10:22 am – sigh of relief. Adrenalin still rushing.
11:00 am – heading to preview one house. Realize raging headache. Hungry. HUNGOVER. Shit.
11:40 am – pick up pizza and head home. Cram pizza in face. Drink diet coke, need caffeine.
12:15 pm – start stressing about other escrow.
2:21 pm – feel like crap. Still stressing. Need a nap.
Filed under: dating
I am never sure WHY I am drawn to someone. It must be pheromones. Something in them that talks to something in me and gets that something all hot and bothered.
Then they open their mouth and tell you their reality and your brain screams NO! NO! NO! NO! Even while your body is pouting that maybe….just maybe….
You think travel is a Vegas trip? You see no reason to ever leave the country and the ONLY thing I want to do with the rest of my life is travel? Big problem.
You have a child…or children…the specifics are blurry and I cannot figure out why. But my radar is up. And my ovaries know you are done having kids.
You are moving in with your ex wife. Oh! She has a boyfriend. You really like him! She is your best friend! Amicable divorce! YAY!
And right there is where the brain wins. Time to go home. Alone.
Filed under: Being Mere
I had to say no to an invite for a NAKED GAY CALENDAR RELEASE PARTY in the Castro this weekend because I am already booked. DAMMIT!
And the guy in charge of the calendar is a porn star. I am going to go cry. I wanna go to the naked calendar party.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Alrighty, then. Still feel funky. There is a bad taste in the back of my throat that will not go away and I am getting woozy at times. So freaking weird. But I am convinced it must be diet based, so I am going to try to eat more fruit and less potato chips.
BUT! I did get some sleep and at least am not walking around in a fog. I have gone to bed early this whole weekend AND even took a nap yesterday. I love naps. Love, LOVE, love naps and I cannot remember the last one I took…probably sometime in August when I had black lung.
I vow to take more naps. But not during the week. And not on Sundays. So that leaves Saturday naps! Yay! Saturday naps!
Italy is 100% ON! Whoohoo! Oct 16th to 26th I will be in and around Florence. I still need to get tickets to the Uffizi and anything else we want to see or do while there. Oh….and maybe a hotel room. I think I had better get working!
Filed under: Work
I have not felt right all week.
My stomach is off. I swear I almost passed out in line at Safeway yesterday. Nightmares, waking in the middle of the night with an upset stomach, not hungry, not thristy, not necessarily tired, but not interested in doing anything.
I think I may just be overwhelmed. 2 conferences in 3 weeks, so many goals they are falling out of my butt, one looooong to do list, planning a trip to Italy, working every freaking day, still stressing over money, blah, blah, blah.
I have no idea how to make it better. I am not used to stressing. I think I will come home frm showing 17 houses today to resume staring at the walls. It seems to be the only thing that works – just ignoring it all.
