Utter Shit


I left my brain in my other purse
January 14, 2008, 12:22 pm
Filed under: Being Mere, Cats

Sigh….went to run errands today.  As I hit the freeway I thought “Did I brush my teeth?”  Sadly, I believe the answer to be no.  Proceed to chew minty gum and make sure not to breath too close to anyone.

Get called back for an interview which has to happen today since I am leaving town this week.  Putting on makeup and I keep thinking, “My god, this is not covering at all”.  No shit, Sherlock, you are using the powder as foundation.  The powder has no color, idiot.

Put up blinds yesterday and was SO proud of myself.  Until I tried to close the blinds by yanking on the string.  I guess I forgot to lock it into the brackets because it came flying off into my face.

There is a large mystery bruise on my thigh.

I have had many opportunities this week to sit down and cry at my own stupidity and I relish each and every one of them.

**

As a side note, know what is flakier than me?  Pet sitters.  Fuck.  Called one who does a great work for a good friend and she never called back.  Had another one scheduled to come meet the cats today and she is SO booked she had ONE slot open which I cannot make thanks to the interview.

I now have calls out to 2 more pet sitters (one I have known since I was a kid) and I am keeping my finger crossed that they even call me back.

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I want to bottle and sell my friends.
January 13, 2008, 7:48 pm
Filed under: quotes

At our little crab dinner last night, the sangria flowed and as we loosened up, the conversation did, too.

At one point, speaking about her past dating life a friend referred to being “taco blocked” at a bar with her now husband.

After a beat of silence, we all burst out laughing.  Her new terminology was brilliant!  Feminizing  the cock block.

Feel free to add it to your vocabulary.  I know I am!

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What I love about my life
January 13, 2008, 12:48 am
Filed under: Being Mere, Drinking

I almost cancelled my plans multiple times today – but the guilt was too much.  Grudgingly, I went to the party, my brow furrowed with my own angst, determined to leave after making a mandatory appearance.  I told one friend I was on the verge of a breakdown and I meant it.  I am not sleeping, I am working 10+ hours a day 7 days a week and then coming home to fix up the house for sale or rent.  “At wits end” has a whole new meaning to me these days.

Little did I know, 5 hours later I would have nicknamed one friend Tits McGee and listened to more drunk puking stories than one should ever hear in one sitting.  I was relaxed for the first time in weeks, and enjoying not thinking about my life.

I am truly lucky to have these friends.

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Have I ever told you
January 11, 2008, 6:59 pm
Filed under: Being Mere

how much I love octopusses….octopi …whatev.  LOVE.  THEM.  Can stand for hours watching my boyfriend at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  But this one may have stolen my heart.

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Timing
January 11, 2008, 5:09 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Life is about timing.  Sometimes it is great – a client, just when you need one.  Sometimes it sucks – grandpa passing away just when you are already on the edge of losing your sanity.

And today, I decided sanity is not so important to my life these days.

At 6 am today I learned grandpa passed away earlier this morning.  Right before an interview in SF.

Grandpa was a man of few words.  He rode a tractor.  He plowed the driveways of the little old ladies in his church.  He fixed things. He collected coins.  He was the best father my dad could have had – even though he is not his biological son.  I cannot say we were close.  It is hard to have a long distance relationship with someone who does not want to talk very much.  But when we were together you felt you belonged to him.  He is the only man who has ever made me feel like anyones “little girl”.  He was tall, slender and proud (so obvious I do not come from his genes!) with a silver military cut.  I have seen him in a suit exactly once.  He always wore a burgundy Mr. Rogers sweater and jeans and a white polo – always.  He worked 6 days a week at a thrift store/charity he founded, helping clothe and feed the poor in his county up until this first illness that came on late last year.  You could go to him and walk out with groceries and diapers and anything else you needed and not pay a dime.  He drank coffee.  Even when it was hotter than hell outside – coffee.

This was a man who was never sick a day in his life – until the last 2-3 months.  Personally, I think he chose to go.  I think he looked at the options, living with a caregiver, or leaving his home for a place where someone might be able to watch over him (my aunt’s house or a home of some sort) and being independent, he took the route that left him the most dignity (if only in his own mind).

I will be flying to Arkansas soon, for the final time I guess.

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Nothing but the truth
January 9, 2008, 8:50 pm
Filed under: Drinking, quotes

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde

 

(thank you google and your daily quotes!)

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Fuck
January 5, 2008, 12:45 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Im hammered

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Reflections and Resolutions
January 1, 2008, 11:25 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is what I wrote last year:

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Resolutions

Goodbye, 2006. Don’t let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out.

In 2007 I want to foster the friendships I have. The ones where people truly have my best interest at heart. Even if those friends are not ones I see on very frequent basis – they are the ones who listen and want me to be the best I can be.

I want to make new friends and expand the circle. I have a knack for choosing selfish people – probably as a result of watching my family dote on my selfish brother my entire life. And it needs to stop. I need to be able to choose friends that value me as much as I value them.

I want to break out of my comfort zone. This means more bootcamp. More nights in new places. Less hiding behind the sarcasm.

I want to heal my family. My brother has upped the ante in his asshole-itude. And as a family, we have to set boundaries and say goodbye if that is what it means for us to be whole again. It will mean losing the longest relationship of my life. I hope this will be the first thing accomplished in the new year, no matter how much it might hurt initially.

I want 2007 to be the best year yet. And everything is pointing to it being just that!

Posted by Saint_Mere at 9:21 AM

I spent that New Year’s Eve alone, cleaning out my closet (which I did a lot last year, paring down the things I have saved for no apparent reason) and really reflecting on my life and what I wanted out of it.

I DID create a great circle of friends that genuinely care about me (as I do them), faults and all.  We laugh like I have never laughed before and I am happy in the knowledge that they ‘get’ me and I am accepted as I am.

I have wrapped up the drama with my brother in my own mind.  While it hit me the other day that the mom has NOT let go, and this will continue to effect our business because the woman cannot separate anything (compartmentalizing has done me WONDERS!) and there is always an underlying “no one loves me” vibe emanating from her at all times.  From that standpoint, it needs to be addressed again.  But as far as he and I go, I am fine.  He chose his way of life and I have chosen mine.  (Makes him sound gay or something, huh?  But I would welcome a gay brother, just not a judgemental pretentious one.)

I DID get out of my comfort zone – bootcamp, applying for jobs (not comfortable), starting new friendships, taking over as the dominate partner in my business, dating someone who was too into me, internet and speed dating (ick!), and really trying to be more open to new experiences.

As far as it being the best year ever? Well, in some ways, yes and in others not so much.  The year was frustrating in a lot of ways.  But it also gave me quite a few new friends, a new view of my career, a new passion to fight to stay in real estate, and lessons aplenty.

So, this year.  Here is what I want out of 2008.

  1. Attack diet competition with a vengeance and lose 15-25 pounds by 3/31.
  2. Make SF Dinner club with friends. Make it a priority for everyone to get together every 4-6 weeks to eat, drink and be funny.
  3. Make Burbs party club with friends. Clubs can intermingle. Make plans for happy hours, road trips, girls only fun. (Starts Feb 1 with a bowling night – I am in charge if this one!)
  4. Find an inexpensive workout plan that is fun. (Have found it for the next 2 months -Discovery National Body Challenge – sign up and get 8 weeks free from Bally)
  5. Date more.  I need to be out there.  I am not sure how, but I will make it up as I go along!
  6. Go on one a real vacation.  Just one – for at least a week.
  7. Get finances in order.  Whatever that may mean  – a job, a roomie, turning tricks.

I am confident this year will be better that last year.  I think I know what to expect this year, which helps.  I am more prepared for what it can bring and more confident in my ability to handle it – in fact *I* will handle it instead of waiting for the mom to take the lead – those days are over.

Welcome to 2008!

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Ringing it in
January 1, 2008, 10:00 am
Filed under: Drinking

I had really planned on sitting at home last night, watching Paranormal State and reading a book.  But the girlfriend, Double, who NEVER goes out, instead believing we should go out and find her men and bring them home to her, wanted to go to a bar.  My bar.

So, I tarted up and met her and D around 7 at our local bar.

The conversation was good, the drinks were excellent and with a brunette, blond and a redhead we deemed ourselves the Charlie’s Angels of the evening.

D actually had a date with the Cowboy.  At 8:45 she told us she had told him she would be at his house at 8.  Oops.  We goaded her into claiming a stomach ailment and staying with us, but the guilt killed her and he came to pick her up around 9:15.

He was NOT pleased.  He has pretty good manners so he met Double and said hi to me then sulked into the corner waiting for her to finish her drink.  I told her to go outside, break up with him on the way to the car and come back in, promising to put out if need be.  For whatever reason, she left with the sulky Cowboy to go to a party full of his friends (I assume more cowboys) and his attitude.  From where I was standing it looked like her evening would resemble the second level of hell.

The band proceeded to set up with a speaker pointed directly into my (old) ear.  We switched seats with the bands girlfriends and chatted with our neighbors and some of the people I know from the bar.

The guitarist from the Journey cover band was there.  I thanked him again for the free tickets to his show a few weeks ago.  I told him how funny it was to meet real FANS of his and he explained (in what I thought was a humble way) how he had to play ‘rock star’ for the fans, that they would feel let down if he did not.  I nodded telling him to me he would always be the guy from the bar.

He kept coming back…I never saw him with a drink, but he seemed a bit tipsy.  He then proceeded to ask me to go to one of his shows.   Now I know he has a little crush on me and I have never let on that I know.  Nor am I interested.  And when I said, yes, I would go to another show he said “Well, I mean as my date.”

Since when is going to watch someone work a date?  I am not sure how the conversation ended, but he moved away and later came back again and said some about have I ever something-ed (dated? maybe?) a rock star  .  WTF?  Why is he now playing rock star to me?  It was weird.  We have known this guy for months and months and now he is getting cocky?  Ick.

Double and I decided we needed greasy food, STAT.  It was 11:19 and our big diet contest started at midnight, so we felt like we needed to cram fried things into our mouths before the ball dropped.

Headed to Denny’s.  Closed.  The hell?

Went to Safeway to get frozen edibles to take home and make.  Closed.

In and Out was open but she did not want a burger.

So we went to my house to pee and I went through the freezer.  I had 6 french fries, a half of a bag of onion rings and frozen chicken strips.  Cooked up what I had, ate it with ranch and giggled about how HORRIBLE Dick Clark sounds after the stroke and how he should RETIRE already since we found him depressing.

And then the ball dropped.  No kisses for Mere.

I drove her back to her car, was home and in bed by 12:30 and have started the new year by rearranging my Tivo subscriptions.

Happy 2008, people.

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