Utter Shit

I put an ad on CL recently looking for a young pup.  I am over the self important jack-asses that are my age or older.  I want a smart, quick-witted pretty young thing to keep me occupied.

The firefighter answered.

The IM’s were ok.  The phone call was down right dull.  D said she would HATE to go on a first date with me because I am too critical and would not let things slide.  She might be right, but let’s remember I am in sales – I am used to this first date getting to know you bullshit (it is exactly what I do with a new client).

I motored on and went out for drinks with him this evening.

The conversation was much better live.  But I think I can out drink him.

But the BEST part was when I asked him the time:

Him: It is 8:15.

Me:  Are you left handed?

Him: Uh. No.

Me:  Are you just a freak who wears your watch on the same hand you write with?

Him:  Have you heard of ambidextrous?

Me (thinking): Um, duh?

Me: So you write with  your right hand?

Him: Yeah.  And I….

Me: I DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LEFT HAND!!!!!

And then I laughed my ass off at my own joke.  I heart me.