Utter Shit

is still eluding me. Much like sleeping in. Maybe they are interlinked?

Last night we tried to (in my own words) “blow xmas up our butts”. I do not think we succeeded.

But we did succeed in:

1) DRINKS! Champagne and fruity lil numbers!

2) TOTS! Because NOTHING say celebration like tater tots.

3) A FIRE, burning blue at one of our fave SF bars.

4) PRESENTS!!!!! Sock Munky slippers and hedgehog’s! (You had to be there!)

5) SEX STORIES! Because that is all girls ever talk about, right?

6) SPERM!! The cabbie offered me his sperm if I needed it. Then he told JB he was “quite fond of me”. Then we discussed expensive watches.

Gift received thus far:

Hippo ornament – it sparkles!

Sock Munky Slippers (pictures soon!)

Hedgehog ornament – almost as good as the real thing!

Coffee maker (I may have begged for it at an xmas party!)

$100

A chocolate snowman and a donation to Children’s Hospital – very  thoughtful!

A package of stationary.