Utter Shit

A few weeks ago – the infamous First Monkey Ball night  I met some guy.  He thinks he looks like Val Kilmer.  I was more along the yoked Cory Haim route, but whatev. 

He is now known to us as Val. 

Val cannot seem to call while sober nor during an appropriate hour.  After the last 2 am call, I was done.  I am not here to teach someone how to be an adult.  He is obviously stuck in the mentality of the party boy.  We will not be a good match.  I like to go to bed at 8:30.

When the girls went out on Saturday, I sort of knew we would run into him.  It was inevitable.  When he did walk in, we were speaking with Mitch and Mike and Booker.  These boys were helping us attempt to swing dance and were a ton of fun. 

Val was on his phone most of the night.  I made the joke that he calls me at 2 am because he starts in the “A”s on his phone around 11:30.

I managed to avoid Val for most of the evening.  I was having too much fun to look him in the eye and invite the drama.  My friends?  They like to stir the pot.  So I let them.  

He assumed since he met me with a blond that JB was the out of town friend of a friend he met last time.  The out of town friend had met me an hour before Val had, so while he grilled her for info about me, she was not able to supply anything of any real value.  Being mistaken for that blond and being someone who DOES know me well, poor Val was in for quite a conversation. 

I do not know the details but he called me a flake a few times.  JB responded with “Really?  A flake?  So you had told her to meet you somewhere at a certain time and a certain place and she did not show up?”   His poor little mouse brain exploded since he knew he had never asked me out – I had asked if he wanted to go see a movie with me and he never responded when I asked if a certain time would work.  Who is the flake?

JB proceeded to poke at him by telling him “You seem like a powerful guy” and insinuated that if he had wanted to see me he could have made it happen.  He sputtered some more. 

Where was I?  Outside with purse and keys wanting to go home.

I got home, chatted a bit more, and went to bed.  An hour after leaving the bar my phone rings….

Hey you, whats going on, it B******,  Uh…. I am surprised we didn’t talk more tonight. That kinda sucks because I wanted to talk with you more but you seemed, I don’t know, distant. Like you were blowing me off.  So, I don’t know what I did.

But uh… talking with your friends when I was over there with a drink and they were just, like, I don’t know, I guess, you told them like I was a dick or something and they didn’t have a good impression of me.  I don’t know why, I haven’t done anything.  But I guess you were not liking how I called you at one night at 2 o’clock in the morning.  Uh…you know…It’s nothing bad man,  If I give you a call at 2 o’clock in the morning, its nothing bad, man.  If I give you a call at 2 o’clock in the morning you’re the person I am thinking of.  So that’s not a bad thing, I could have called someone else, but you know I was out having a good time and I wanted to call you and say hi.  Do I think you will be up?  Probably not.  But just in case I wanted maybe to say hi to you.

You looked beautiful tonight and I wished I could have danced with you. 

I’m bummed I did not get to see that movie with you last Sunday that you flaked on me on.. Cuz, I never actually saw that movie in the first place so I did want to see that movie.

Anyways, give me a call if you want to. 

Some of my friends say you are to high maintenance but I don’t think you are.  I think that’s misread.  I think you are fun and beautiful and uh have a great little tush and a beautiful face. And you are definitely fun to talk to and definitely I want to talk with you again if we get the chance.

If you are still single and you want to go out to the movies, or whatever….see me…give me a call at 925 – ***-**** 

Ill talk to you later beautiful, have a good night.