I learned something about myself today. I have the emotional intelligence of someones pet rat. In fact, the rat may have more than I do.
As this blog has recorded – I sort of lost my mind in the last week.
The last 6 days I have had a raging jaw ache which has radiated into the back of my head and into my shoulders. And I keep looking around, trying to figure out what is stressing me out…is it work? is it the mom being out of town (again)? is it a lack of down time? is it all of those things?
What I learned today – after I painted 3 bedrooms, a 14 foot wall in my living room (with 6 coats), had a melt down (and cried!) to the construction guy, knocked myself in the nose with a hammer, cried again, cried some more and then finally, 10 hours later have stopped to sit and ponder – is that I am freaked out and stressed over the construction, not work, not the lack of days off.. Which I am sure is BLATANTLY obvious to everyone except me. And I think it is less the actual construction than the lack of information that dribbles down to us lowly homeowners.
I think had I been given an overview of the work I might have been able to plan better. But with no end in site, and with every step being portrayed as the last it hit me where it counts – in my control issues. Knowing that this would be a 10 week project might have meant I moved things around differently. But every time they come it is played like they will be in and out and then I can go back to my life. Only I have not been able to go back to my life.
Granted right now I am exhausted. Bone tired. But just having one book shelf and an ottoman back where it belongs in my bedroom has calmed me. The living room is about half put together…but the couch is not in the middle of the dining room, instead it is now on the edge of the room it belongs in.
I felt like as ass after shrieking at the construction guy. I had him come over to look at the finish work on the 8 x 2 wall patch, that turned into a 12 x 6 area that required paint. 6 coats of paint. And he gave me some song and dance about the fact that I should not have painted it myself. I reminded him it was MY house. And then he said they would have used this product and that product that would have made it blend in better. And I told him, right, I got the note late last night that you want to come NEXT WEEK, which does not work, as I point to the fact that there is no where to sit. And he looks at me and says “Well we blocked out 13 days in order to come back and paint and clean up”. And I lost my shit. 13 days puts us into the middle of November. Meaning that they would have been pulling things off f my house, tearing things open and banging on my walls for 2 and a half months. And NOWHERE did anyone tell me it was going to be that long.
I just spoke with the mom and told her that I felt bad for overreacting. She said she did not think I overreacted at all, she totally gets it, that one cannot live in their own house like this for 8 weeks, much less 10. The truth is it took me a day and a half to paint what they had patched. And tomorrow my house will be put back together. My other option was to wait for them to get around to it which could happen anytime between next week and mid-November (which I did not realize at the time, my assumption was it would be next week, and that was still too long).
But what I find interesting is it never occurred to me I was in pain from the stress of all this. I find it funny that I can know I am stressed but not be able to point at the problem. I might be smart in other areas (I did a GREAT schematic on how to hang the 2 large paintings with math and everything!) but emotionally, I am a retard. I know I am upset, but not why. I need distance for that, and I can rarely find that when I need it.
The mom made me dinner. I am going to eat early and pass out. Pass out in my almost together house.
Filed under: Uncategorized
When I went to the gyno the other day my blood pressure was 117 over 72 or something. Pretty good since I had had the morning from hell.
I don’t have a blood pressure cuff on me but I would take bets I am through the roof right now.
The last communication I received from the construction company said “move your stuff 3 feet from the work areas” and “leave out any custom paint”. When I spoke with the guy running the show he said they would cut the hole on Tuesday and fix everything (including paint) on Wednesday (today).
Not. Done. Not done AND I came home to clean whatever they use for texture off of my bedspread (if they ruined it, they die) and the $45 a square yard carpet. I got the spot bot out for…I dunno….an hour and a half? To clean white crap off of my carpet. And don’t get me started on the wet spots. They are everywhere and I cannot figure out why. There is plaster on my art, on my shutters, on the inside of my shower.
There is a new notice on my door that they want to come back on the 26th to finish the paint. Oh…and by the way, “move your stuff 3 feet from the work areas” and “leave out any custom paint”.
Are you fucking kidding me? They asked that all the stuff be moved on SEPTEMBER 21 when the windows went it. So that means that as of Friday, all 3 bedrooms have been torn apart for FOUR weeks. The rooms aren’t big. It isn’t as if there is all this space to move things that are already in their proper place AND have enough room for multiple grown men to work in that room and have the room not look like you just shoved everything onto one wall.
But, truthfully, I could live with one more week of the bedrooms. But not the front room. Not without TV. Not with my couch in my dining room, not without a place to sit and eat. Nope. I am done.
Done.
I am calling them tomorrow and telling them they can do whatever they want to the outside of my house, but they are not coming back inside. I will paint it myself (14 feet up the wall, but whatever). I cannot live another week with 5 (of 6, if we do not count bathrooms, and yes one of those is torn apart, too) in disarray. I want my books off the floor and the shelves where they belong, I want couches where they are usable.
Whining over.
The construction workers are coming to (hopefully!) finish today. Some of what they need to do is in my shower. So being the nice person I am, I decide to set up 2 fans, each blowing in from a different side of the shower to dry it off. There is nothing grosser than someone else’s wet shower (or am I the only freak who hates it?).
Blew the circuits. Cannot get any plugs to work in any of the bathrooms. Flipped all the breakers – nothing. Reset the ground in the kitchen – nothing. I am fucked. Dried my hair in the spare bedroom. It looks like shit (my hair, not the room…although since I keep shoving items I have cleaned out of my closet into the spare room, it does not look so hot either).
And I am left to wonder why I try to be nice? I just ended up screwing myself – and possibly costing myself money if I have to call in an electrician since I am such a retard. Thank god I upped my home warranty. At least it won’t cost me an arm and a leg.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Half a bottle of wine and pita chips.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I have spent the last 6 weeks or so as a cheerleader of sorts. Not my usual emotional state – but necessary in order to survive the bullshit of this market, my mother’s refusal to help create more business and a host of personal items that always seem to pop up.
Apparently I am at my wits end with it all. Even after a Monday meeting where the others in my group tell me how inspiring I am and the notes I receive from friends in the biz about how meeting with me cheers them.
This facade I have tried so hard to make a reality has crumbled in the last 18 hours. It might have been the 4 men on my doorstep at 7:45 am wanting to tear up my living room, it might have been the 8:30 gyno appt or the fact that I had to walk around all day with vaseline in my underpants since I could not return home, it might be the rain, it might be the constant pain in my jaw that has had me downing advil and searching for TMJ symptoms.
It might be all of it. But I need these guys to leave my living room so I can have a good old fashioned cry.
Sigh…they just closed my garage door.
Filed under: Uncategorized
That hangover was a doozie. I ended up asleep by 7 pm, up at 9 pm to pee and take a sleeping pill and dragged my happy ass out of bed at 630 this morning. 11 hours of sleep seems to have cured me!
I had to work an open house yesterday and it was brutal. 3.5 hours sitting in an empty house. I really, really wanted to lay down and make my hair stop hurting.
The boy I had met the night before texted me (gag) and offered an invite to join him in the hot tub. Have any of you EVER seen me in a bathing suit? Have any of you seen me in shorts? A first date in a bathing suit – christ! There is nothing in this world LESS appealing than a hot tub date with someone I do not know.
Today I was lucky enough to have to move all the furniture in the dining room against one wall and then move all the living room furniture into the dining room so that they can finish the beam issues under my bathroom. Good times, no? I have pictures. I will post them tomorrow after they tear open my poor wall.
Filed under: Drinking
Oh my freaking gawd! Do not, and I mean NEVER EVER, drink a shot called Monkey Balls. It is way too tangy and sugary and it will cause you to do stupid things – like give your number to a 29 year old gym rat who thinks you are beautiful. Sigh….
Snippets of the night:
The band sucks and is playing Blondie and who ever sings Santeria (my brain is mush right now) and weird rock songs that are not of my generation. So I turn to the 29 year old and say “When are they going to play some Justin Timberlake”. His mouth falls open in disbelief. I guess it isn’t a JT type of bar?
D flirting with DOX (short for Big Dumb Ox). Me making faces at her, oblivious that HE can see me and knows I want her to get away from him.
Meeting Mark with and M and Steve with an S and the other Steve with an S….why we all introduced ourselves that way is beyond me. But Mark with an M just sold a $10M piece of property and lives in the most exclusive area within 30 miles. His home is on the market for $4M. He wants to “move up”.
There is a black guy that goes to the bar who is in a Journey cover band and they are supposed to be really good. We are having him put us on the guest list for a November show in SF. This guy keeps a guitar pick in his mouth at all times.
Honestly, most of the night is an absolute whirl. I did not think I was that hammered. In fact the young pup asked why I was so sober. He also called me a goody-goody so I flipped him off with both hands. Which made him fall in love with me – of course.
Today I am in pain. I had cold pizza and 2 diet cokes and 2 motrin and a vitamin for breakfast. It helped for about a half hour….all I want to do is close my eyes and go back to sleep. But I have to go to work. That is going to suck!
Filed under: Being Mere
I walk into the bar last night. It has taken me more than 40 minutes to get there. I say hi, set down my purse and head off to pee.
As I walk away my friends say:
“Did she cut her hair? It looks good!”
“And her thighs look thinner!”
Love them!
Tonight started out so well. I met the girls in downtown WC for Oktoberfest. We started with nachoes – typical for Oktoberfest, no? The conversation rocked, as always.
We then moved out to the street fair where a friend has duplicated the free beer passes. And it is the very reason we love her. We huddled together and laughed and laughed and laughed. There is no one funnier than us. Men kept approaching and we would include them in our funniness but none could hang.
One group of older guys offered us champagne if we met them at the lounge at 9. We might have mentioned that champagne makes us funnier.
We arrive at the lounge and no old guys. Well plenty of old guys but not the ones who had promised the bubbly. We watched the elderly dance and chatted.
Until I hear ‘Hi Mere’ from behind me. This guy is there. The one who dry humped me on my couch and never called afterwards. I am stunned. I am BEYOND stunned. Maybe I am old fashioned but I sort of think that if your penis rubs up against any part of my body, you should call.
Unless of course, you have no interest. And in that case, do not approach me in a very busy bar, where you are behind me and I would NEVER have seen you.
And part of me wants to be mature. I want to be like, “sure, we can be friends” but the truth is…WE CAN’T. If you had wanted to be my friend you should have started there. I am not one of those girls who can swallow the fact that I did not make the cut for a second date. I am not wired that way.
My friends were tired. I left with a half assed good bye. I came home all amped and pissed. So I cleaned the bathroom. I figured it was healthier than cracking open a bottle of wine.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I realize it isn’t the end of most people’s week…but since tomorrow is my only day off I intend to go out and celebrate tonight.
And after the day I had, tomorrow may not be a day off, but I am going to party like it is! Because month 4 of Bootcamp in OVER!
I guess they are adding a Saturday class next session which means I am thinking about doing 5 days a week. I mean one month won’t kill me and I will get to be in shape for the holidays (and my 34th bday! eeek!). So yeah….addicted much?
XX
My cat has a cold. Last night he was sitting on the back of the couch and his nose was running. On the couch. EW! Don’t sit down at my house! Kidding…it is leather and easy to clean up. But still. Ew!
I am keeping an eye on him. He is a bit lazy but not lethargic. He is eating well and seems to be feeling ok.
XX
I just got a notice that they want access to my house next week to “finish” the structural issues. I am not sure what this means since I have more issues than most (or the HOUSE has issues, I am sure they do not have ways of fixing MY issues). This is good and not so good news. The good? When they are done I can paint what they did (fixed nails that have popped back into the house from moving the siding and fixing the drywall that is missing around the 3 new windows) and put the 3 bedrooms back together.
Just getting part of the house together would be nice. I feel unsettled when I walk by my linen closet that has books stacked in front and glass vases on top, when those items belong on my bookshelves that usually flank one window, but are now propped against the tv and hidden in the spare bedroom.
The bad? Well, more dusty men in my house. And they may come and tear a huge hole in my living room, which will BLOW!
But I think the end is in site! At least the end for my building. There are 9 more to finish. I think we will be living with these guys through the holidays. Wheee!
