Utter Shit

Tonight started out so well. I met the girls in downtown WC for Oktoberfest. We started with nachoes – typical for Oktoberfest, no? The conversation rocked, as always.

We then moved out to the street fair where a friend has duplicated the free beer passes. And it is the very reason we love her. We huddled together and laughed and laughed and laughed. There is no one funnier than us. Men kept approaching and we would include them in our funniness but none could hang.

One group of older guys offered us champagne if we met them at the lounge at 9. We might have mentioned that champagne makes us funnier.

We arrive at the lounge and no old guys. Well plenty of old guys but not the ones who had promised the bubbly. We watched the elderly dance and chatted.

Until I hear ‘Hi Mere’ from behind me. This guy is there. The one who dry humped me on my couch and never called afterwards. I am stunned. I am BEYOND stunned. Maybe I am old fashioned but I sort of think that if your penis rubs up against any part of my body, you should call.

Unless of course, you have no interest. And in that case, do not approach me in a very busy bar, where you are behind me and I would NEVER have seen you.

And part of me wants to be mature. I want to be like, “sure, we can be friends” but the truth is…WE CAN’T. If you had wanted to be my friend you should have started there. I am not one of those girls who can swallow the fact that I did not make the cut for a second date. I am not wired that way.

My friends were tired. I left with a half assed good bye. I came home all amped and pissed. So I cleaned the bathroom. I figured it was healthier than cracking open a bottle of wine.