Utter Shit

Some bloggers talk about their bowels.  You know who you are.

I talk about the colon of my cat.

The poor little guy has Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  After months of steroids and wiping cat butt, we had it licked with a raw diet.

But a raw diet is tedious. Once every 3 weeks, I buy $60 worth of frozen cat food.  Then every 3-4 days I bag up individual meals (the cats get 4 (2 each) nuggets in the morning and the same at night) to defrost.  Everything must be in a metal bowl.  Too lazy to wash 2 bowls twice a day I feed them in paper bowls.  And I use plastic forks to mix it up – cuz that shit ain’t touching anything I am putting my mouth on.

The cats are on a schedule – and cats on a schedule tend to know that schedule.  In fact the little one can tell time.  Exactly one hour before feeding time he starts with the staring…and the drooling…and the yowling…and the trying anything to get my attention.

I saw an ad for a dry food that might work for them.  I did as much research as I could, reading all the ingredients, and looking for what I think sets off his poor little rear end.  It looked good!  It said all the right things.  I was excited!

And we tried it!  And they loved it!  And I thought I was saved!!

And then his ass promptly exploded. EXPLODED, I tell you.  And it stank.  And all was not right in the world.