I’m drunk.
9 hours of drinking. Bloody marys, saketini (wtf?!), beer, more beer, vodka and even more vodka. Very little food ingested.
Multiple guys with….interest? I am not sure. Something. No one left with my number.
No one that I should pursue anything with. One unemployed. The other? No idea.
What I learned tonight – 1) I am not as much of a hose beast as I seem to think. 2) Liquor will catch up to you after many hours. 3) I am sort of attracted to what I should not be. 4) The hot ones can me ugly after they start to speak. 4) An old, old friend wants to have drinks with an old, old bf….weird. But I am SO GOING!
Filed under: Drinking
I have no idea what happened last night. I mean I *know* what happened…I just have no idea how it went from innocent evening out to drunk fest and getting home after 3 am.
I have a client who is in a burlesque show. I had meant to go for months and last night was finally the time to get some girls and go. What I knew- time they would go on and the bar.
As we approached I said “Oh. Shit. Is that line waiting to get in the bar?” Apparently this was some huge night – not at the bar but in an entire neighborhood of Oaktown. Hipsters EVERYWHERE!!!
Art, booze, food, falafel trucks (we missed), galleries, bars and assorted debauchery all within a few square blocks.
We drank, we watched girls dance, we snuck out with the intention of one more drink in another neighborhood before shoving one friend on Bart and heading back to the other side of the tunnel.
Only one turned into….a shitload? Drunk 29 year-olds who were SO funny when compared to suburban douchebags of the week before. Some guy all over my shizz (not the drunk 29 year old) to the point that it actually confused me.
Anyway…today hurts. I thought I was ok until I had to go to work. Then it was pepto and wishing for bacon (never got any). I have no idea how we ended up having so much freaking fun, but goddamn…good, good night.
*****
Faceb**k messages about last night:
Me: WTF happened last night?!? There were pasties and PBR and Eli and I got home after 3. That is so my new verb for being tore up – we got Eli’d last night. Totally Eli’d.
Me to a guy friend: Holy shit. Last night was not supposed to happen. It just sort of evolved and then there were lots of pretty and not so pretty girls in their undies. The pretty ones were fun to look at. The not so pretty (or thin) ones made up feel good about ourselves. My liver died last night. I need to give it CPR so I can drink tomorrow. Whatchoo doing for superbowl?
Filed under: Cats
I am sitting here screwing around on faceb**k and pondering brushing my teeth.
The little kitty is curled up next to my leg. Taking one of his 30 daily naps. He is my lap kitty.
The other one comes up and puts his head very near the little one’s rear end. These cats have ass obsession. Any time one is occupied the other has his nose up his ass. No idea what that is about….
Anyway. I stop. And watch. The ass is covered by tail. What is he trying to do?
And then he opens his mouth and chomps on the rear of the little one. Just bites the hell out of him shark week style.
Damn cats.
Filed under: workouts and healthkicks
Aiyaiyai! Last night, as I got up from the booth at Red Robin (free refills on fries, yo!) after cramming about 5000 calories of chicken strips in my face, I noticed the pain was setting in from the work out the evening before.
After a few workouts, you start to notice the smaller muscles over the large ones. My ankles hurt. Small muscles in my back ache.
But whatever. Tonight was just a regular ass kicking class with no extra running. Just lots of lunges and squats and lots and lots of kicking tonight.
And halfway through class I decided – I was going to up my membership. The membership I have now allows 2 classes per week – and it isn’t enough.
In September – it was enough. It was enough because the sun was out before 7 and later than 5 pm. I was walking and hiking with friends. And I was already in ok shape from bootcamp. It was not raining every other day (and yes, we NEED the rain. I know!) That sitting on my ass and doing nothing for 3 months? Killed me.
I am now playing catch up. The muscles had too mush rest.
So, starting next week – 3 classes per week. And walking with my neighbor. And possibly 1 or 2 days of bar method type workouts in the garage – they are not long, and are so totally different from boxing. But they work, for sure.
Work slowed down this week.
I was almost in escrow in a small deal and his father poked his big nose into it, created a delay and someone came in with cash. YAY! How do you tell your 26 year old client to stop listening to dad?
The phone is not ringing. The emails are non-existent. Maybe everyone is focused on the Superbowl? I have clients who need to sell before they buy, and clients out of town for funerals, and others that are not super invested in the process. So, things are slow.
I worked on my taxes yesterday. And today I am home making sauce. Makes me sound Italian when I say that! I am not Italian AT ALL. But I do believe in having a stock of red sauce in the freezer for cold nights.
I am thinking about sanding the old door I bought to make a headboard. Not today – but if it remains slow over the weekend. The mom and I are going to run to the mall and a movie tomorrow. The last movie I saw was Zombieland. When was that out? November?
I am trying to enjoy the quiet. Today it is easy as the rain is back. The sky is darkening and it makes me want to settle in – which I can’t!
Filed under: Uncategorized
An old friend found me on facebook.
He dumped me as a friend because he married the world’s most insecure girl and she hated me.
The last time I saw him was around his birthday…8 or 9 years ago. We had been roommates and friends for years. We had a groove. When we lived apart we went for walks in the Presidio, then I cooked him dinner a few nights a week. We knew almost everything about each other.
We both ended up in the east bay. I watched his puppy while studying for my real estate exam. I never knew that every day when I went to his house that she lived there. The secrets had started only I did not have any.
Anyway, we had always loved dinner and a movie. So, for his birthday that year we had planned on doing just that. Only when I met up with him (maybe even picked him up?) he could only do dinner now…he was tired.
Dinner was an utter fiasco. She called before we even reached the restaurant (10 minutes). She called again. And again. And finally he got up from the table (we had just ordered) and walked out with his phone. She was losing her shit over me.
Me. Who had been drunk, and done e, and had sat around in pj’s and undies, without brushed teeth discussing dates and work and life in SF with her boyfriend.
Mind you, she had cheated on him. So, being a cheater, she expected it in return. To my knowledge I have never messed with someone’s boyfriend. And let’s face it. Had I wanted him? I could have had him on any of a million occasions. Even when whacked out on drugs we never messed around – I have made out with people I cannot stand on e, so really…there was nothing there. Never touched him. Never kissed him, never gave a back rub. Never. Wanted. Your. Boyfriend.
I sat at the table alone. The waiter was even worried about me. I smiled, put my tortilla chip down and said “Apparently his new girlfriend has some issues with his old friend”.
If it were me, I would have tried to be my friend. Enemies closer and all that. But she was not dynamic enough to think that through. The problem was I was 100% secure in where I stood in the situation. I was 110% secure. I could walk into her home and sit on her couch and be totally fine. She did not hit my radar as a threat. I could not care less what she thought of me. My gaze was level, my tone was clipped, but not rude.
And being that typical, boring, insecure, always-have-a-boyfriend-to-give-me-an-identity-girl, oops-I was-banging-two-boys-at-work-girl, she could not handle someone who knew who they were and where they belonged.
Mind you, I was unemployed and had just fucking moved home to my parents house at 26 or 27, and was having my world fall apart around me AND I WAS STILL 1000 TIMES MORE SECURE THAN SHE COULD EVER BE.
He called me a while later and told me how he was going to propose. I am pretty sure he did not expect me to burst into tears. “That’s it”, I said, “I am never going to hear from you again”. He was stunned but I knew. She was going to get that ring and put her foot down. And she did exactly that.
When a few weeks later I was sent a link (FROM HIM) to the pictures of their engagement party where “all their friends” joined them to celebrate….and I was obviously not even invited, I knew. It was done.
So I thought about it for 24 hours before adding him. I mostly did it because I hope it pisses her off. He sent an email.
“Great to see you, hope all is well with you! Congratulations on becoming a Realtor, I know it is what you always wanted! You look quite professional. Well glad you accepted me as a friend, let me know how you are doing and what you have been up to!”
Yeah….this was not “what I always wanted”, it was what I was trying out oh-so-long ago. But whatever. I am not answering that email. At least not yet. No idea what I would even say.
Filed under: workouts and healthkicks
I am still in a stage where I sort of hate going to boxing. I am just not in the physical shape I was 2 years ago when I was all bootcamped out.
I have spent the last year being lazy. And the last 3 months being MORE than lazy.
I am a perfectionist at heart. I do not like to do things I cannot do well. I can shove those feelings down, but it still bothers me. I hate being last. I hate being the out of shape, fat, redhead, turning purple and sucking wind.
I was not born an athlete. And there is a large part of me that really would prefer to sit on the couch.
But something in me also forces me to do things that scare me. Part of me does not care that I am last or that I am sucking wind.
So, I go. And I ignore the insecure parts of me that are thinking about junior high gym class. I try not to listen to the voice saying I do not belong here.
And I went. And he fucking KILLED us tonight. They are starting a new cross fit class – the classes that police and firefighters take? Those ones. The HARD ones. And he thinks it is a good idea to do half a class that way then move on to the kick boxing.
10 jumping jacks, 5 burpees WITH pushup and a jump and clap (why do I hate clapping so much?), 5 squats with a weight bar with an overhead lift, then run around the building in the rain. Repeat all. FIVE times.
I suck at running. I ALWAYS HAVE. Even when I was running 5 days a week the best I ever ran was over a 10 minute mile. And tonight? After almost no running (except for 3 or 4 minutes at the start of class) I thought I was gonna die.
I didn’t die. And I came home to look at the new classes and I think I will go up to 3 classes a week this week. I hope he can just up my membership for a month or 2. I do not have enough money to do all 5 months I have left.
And more good news? They are opening a gym RIGHT DOWN THE STREET! I mean I could walk there. It will take a few months, and I am not sure I will start there immediately and wait for them to get a selection of classes….but still! Good!
Filed under: workouts and healthkicks
I have been reading a book about “diet”. Not my favorite thing to read, but I occasionally buy a book and then on an even rarer occasion I will read it.
This one is small. And pretty easy to read. Maybe because it only has 4 rules to follow? And they are not complicated like “only eat orange vegetables with red meat and rice only on the full moon”. No recipes to make rabbit food taste better. No limits of any kind.
4 simple rules.
And maybe this is placebo, but if nothing else it has reduced my food stress. I think about food all the time. What I should eat. What I am wasting in the fridge. What I really, really want to eat. What I can’t eat. What I am eating next. What I ate last. Wondering what combination of good things will stop the craving for the bad things. What magic concoction of food or vitamins will give me thin thighs forever.
Anyway….that is fading.
And the other funny thing? In 2 days of following the rules I have eaten more green things, more nuts, more things that are good for me that I usually do.
I also ate bread. And some chips. And candy hearts.
But for whatever reason, I am not beating myself up for it. The bread is gone. The chips are consumed with organic cottage cheese. I am not buying any bacon this week, having eaten the last piece, and I am not feeling like I am getting gypped. There is fried mozz, quiche, pizza, tater tots, and hash browns in the freezer and I have not even thought of touching them. They are no longer special for being off limits.
So bizarre. You get permission to do what you want and you do what you should.
One of the suggestions (not the 4 rules) is to only weigh yourself every 2 weeks. So, I will have no idea if it is having an impact of weight, but it is having an impact on how I feel. And maybe that is all I need. Just to feel at peace with food. Regardless of thin thighs.
I promise to report back in 2 weeks.
Filed under: Being Mere
There is little that is better than the warm sun on a clear California winter day.
I had all the windows open today and I lounged in the sun finishing “Under the Dome” (almost 1100 pages). I think I was already 850+ pages into it.
When I read, I like to do it all day. I am not the person who reads an hour a day. Like most things in my life I am either in or out. I am either consumed or I cannot care. And it is the same with a good book. I want to read all day and stay up until my eyes hurt or not do it at all.
Now, a Stephen King movie on TV – one with John Cusack. What could be better?
**
Hand to god, my last day off was 1/1. I have taken a few half days of sorts that have me in the office at 8 am so I can be home by noon or afternoons to myself before I go back to work at 6 pm. But the last day off was the first day of the month. We are now on the last day of the month.
I got home at a reasonable hour last night. The evening was fun, just more crowded than I was in the mood for. It was total douche central. The only guys that were cute, dressed normally, looked interesting were too young.
I know I do not really need more than a day off a week. If I have 2 days I start to worry about work. With one day, I can detach totally. So here is what today looks like:
Up around 7, vacation response on work email.
Target for yoga pants, bad, bad frozen food, and more foam floor tiles for my “workout area”.
Lunardi’s for fresh ciabatta (so bad, but oh.so.good), their marinated artichoke hearts (lemon and capers and garlic, oh my!) and assorted olives.
Back home to clean the kitchen, the fish bowl, laundry.
I will likely give another hour to the straightening and sorting of this house. The problem is that I get half a job done (moving decorative pieces around, re-potting the house plants, cleaning closets or the garage) and then get frustrated when I do not have the time to finish. I think the truth is I am bad at the finish. I like to start and I like to see the area that has been cleared, but I do not want to deal with the items that need a new home. More things to put on the self improvement list.
Then I have 2 books I want to finish. 2 movies I can watch. Laundry to fold and tax receipts to sort.
I will snack on artichoke hearts and olives. I will make a Portobello mushroom and fresh mozzarella sandwich with a little pesto for dinner on the bbq. Oooh! And grilled asparagus!
I will not shower. I will not leave the house again. I might do a facial mask. I will lounge. I will probably not speak to anyone today, needing the silence.
I will take deep breaths. I will take a moment to be thankful for a day off and a busy career (one that kicks you in the balls from time to time). I will be grateful for the nights out this past week and the ones getting scheduled for next week.
I hope your Sunday finds you doing exactly what you need to re-group!
